The Last Supper, where Christ held the first Communion

Gregor Mendel, father of modern genetics
For centuries, countless millions of Christians have observed this proud tradition by taking communion (in the form of wafers and wine that magically transform themselves into the flesh and blood of The Lord upon consumption) regularly. We at AAlgar Genetics believe that The Lord has better things to do with His time than go through the complicated act of transubstantiation every Sunday. Clearly it was His intent to have you eat His flesh and drink His blood, but it’s always been a simple problem of supply and demand— there’s never been enough flesh and blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ to go around. Until now.

Through the miracle1 of cloning, AAlgar Genetics is pleased to announce SacraMendel, an exciting new option for the discriminating believer. Named after the holy sacrament (the tradition of taking communion) and the founder of modern genetics (Gregor Mendel), SacraMendel is the perfect answer for Catholics and other Christian sects taking part in the time-honored tradition of communion.

 How do we do it?



AAlgar Genetics’ top researchers began with the only known surviving genetic remnants of Jesus Christ— the world-renowned Shroud of Turin. Using a complicated process of genetic sampling and resequencing2, brand new tissue samples were created in controlled laboratory conditions.

Early test marketing proved highly successful. Studies found that subjects consuming SacraMendel experienced an average 55% increase in purity and overall holiness.3 Side effects were non-existant, making FDA approval surprisingly brief and painless. In a matter of a few short months, SacraMendel went from divinely inspired idea to mass-marketed product.

SacraMendel finally makes it possible to throw aside outdated figurative interpretations of the Bible and follow its words the way they were meant to be followed: literally! Whether consumed during sacred religious ceremonies or as a quick snack when you’re on the go, SacraMendel truly is a Divine Gift. Look for SacraMendel in your grocer’s freezer or your pastor’s lunchbox.

The shroud of Turin

1. Not a church-confirmed miracle. Consult your Bible for details.


2. As seen in the movie


3. Compared to control group, fed the cloned flesh and blood of laboratory chimps.